The Gospel according to a ladybug.

I had the blinds on my windows pulled all the way up this morning. The light that pours into the room is fantastic. I ate my breakfast and peered out my second story view which isn't the best - a rickety storehouse, an empty parking lot, and a huge abandoned building. Still, it's a view. A moving dot caught my eye - a ladybug was scaling the outside of my window, trapped in the space between the screen and the glass. "Dude, why'd you go in there?" I thought. Her fate was clear, as the graveyard of other insects at the bottom of the window could attest. Little ladybug was too curious and now she was trapped...

Then it hit me. The Gospel.

The ladybug was curious about the window - maybe it protected her from the wind, maybe she wondered what was beyond the glass, maybe she was looking for food or water, maybe she was just cruisin' and ended up there... Whatever the reason, she entered in by a tiny gap in the screen and as she wandered around she couldn't find her way back out. She was trapped. 

CURIOSITY.
"We were made for relationship and unity with God, but for some reason we turned away. We mistrusted who He is as good and loving Father and we chose something else..."
We fall into most sin initially due to curiosity.  I wonder if... I've always wanted to try... What's the hype of... Might as well experiment... What would it be like if... It's the same question of why was Eve so close to the tree that she knew she wasn't supposed to eat from? Why was Eve engaging the serpent? Spiritual warfare begins primarily in our thoughts. We should aim to protect our thoughts and intentionally redirect them to the Lord when they start getting curious about things they shouldn't be dabbling in. For whatever reason, we get curious about the window and what we will find behind it. Mortify your eyes, redirect your thoughts, remove yourself from tempting situations - this does not mean live in fear, but rather live in wisdom. "I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked." (Psalm 84:10)

TRAPPED (sin).
"We broke from someone Infinite and chose sin. Now we have an infinite void in us and an infinite debt we can't pay back because we are finite..."
That curiosity leads us into sin and we can't find our way back out. The sin begins to enslave us, we start getting addicted to it... the high, the release, the pleasure, the notoriety, etc. The evil one loves to convince us of the "goodness" behind sin, only to spit it back in our face with shame afterward. The evil one takes things that are inherently good and twists them just slightly... "When the woman (Eve) saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate." (Gen 3:6) Goodness, delight, desirable, wisdom are all good things! But they were used to manipulate and lure in... remember that shame part: "Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked... the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden... I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” (Gen 3:7-10) Sin makes us sad. It cuts us off from grace. It clouds our souls. It makes us turn in on ourselves - self-deprecation, self-centeredness, self-hatred. It is generally rooted out of some form of loneliness. So we hide... don't let people close, don't let people know, don't trust people, don't trust God... We are weak, scared, lonely, and unstable. We are trapped. Even if we want to, like the ladybug, we can't find our way out because we lost the crack we entered from.

The ladybug fluttered back and forth from the screen to the window glass. She could see signs of life through both sides. The only way to let her out was to take off the screen from the outside. Even if I did, she would have to choose to fly away. Then she could be free and flutter about in her ladybug life doing lady-like things.

TAKE OFF THE SCREEN.
"We need someone who is God (Infinite) and man (Finite) who can bridge the gap between us and God. Who can fill the void in our hearts and take us back to who we were made for."
This is where Jesus comes in. He "takes off the screen" and allows us to be free. I was talking to someone recently about trying to live purity and he said, "That's impossible, baby. We aren't all that strong." What a cop out. What a defeatist. People aren't just born living virtuously or otherwise. There are choices we make for both. We don't just wake up and have our whole beings totally mastered so that we have no more struggles and can continue skipping along in our Christian fairytales. What an insult to what Christianity actually is. THAT IS WHAT GRACE IS FOR. Grace allows us to become stronger, to rise to greatness, to choose bold things, to be weak before the Lord so that HE can make us strong. Of course we will fall - that's why we NEED Jesus. A pillar of the Christian life is dependence on Jesus Christ. "[The Lord] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.' So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." (2 Cor 9) These aren't just pretty words, these are realities. Jesus gives us the grace to be free. There's no way we could do it on your own. The power of Christ gives our weakness a crown of triumph. He "takes off the screen" that is separating us from true life and unity with God... but this requires one thing: choice.

CHOICE.
 "So we have to choose Jesus Christ, choose Him as the bridge to bring us back into unity with God the Father. We have to make Him the center of our lives, surrendering in vulnerability to Him as God."

Even if the screen is removed, the ladybug still has to choose to fly away. Have you ever had a bug in your car and even after you roll down the window and swat it in the direction of the window, it still doesn't fly out? And you think, "I'M TRYING TO LET YOU LIVE! FLY OUT!" This is probably pretty similar to what Jesus thinks when we are just sitting around wallowing in our own misery or our boring lives. Yes, Jesus died for your sins already, but you still have to invite Him into your life. He won't just come barging in - He honors your free will too much. Recognize the void in your heart, the kinda sorta happiness you live in, and then ask Him for His "joy to be in you so that your joy may be complete" (John 15:11). We need Him. Being His will be the greatest delight of your soul. Choose Him.

BE FREE. 

"He invites us to dive into prayer, unite with Him in the Sacraments, discover Him in scripture, experience Him in others - desire to be as close to Jesus as possible and this allows Him to set our hearts free."

Have you looked into the eyes of someone truly joyful? What about someone living deep, holy joy? It is something out of this world, literally. They are free. Even their suffering is redemptive. "For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Gal 5:1) God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit DESIRE YOU TO LIVE IN FREEDOM! What... that's craycray. They created you, saved you, and sustain you so that you can thrive in the fullness of who you are - totally loved, irreplaceable, and delighted in. You have a purpose that is profound - one to increase truth, beauty, and goodness. Continue to make Jesus the center of your life, asking for His grace, refusing to "submit again to the yoke of slavery," and let Him show you what freedom looks like. Keep going back to Him - He is the fount of "living waters" (John 7:38).

Curiosity. Trapped (sin). Take off the screen. Choice. Be free.

Be free and fly little ladybug. Escape the throngs of the insect graveyard. Breath in some life! :-)

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith... Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Heb 12: 1-3)

Do not grow weary! Do not lose heart! Fix your eyes on Jesus!

The Ladybug Gospel of Lord, praise to You Lord Jesus Christ.

I am a human person person.

I am a people person.

But I would like to become more of a human person person.

“Human person” seems to reach a little deeper into the gut.

We are simple really.

While still wonderfully complex.

No one could be compared to another…  but we all boil down to a simple commonality: we are each a human person.

Something in us makes us completely irreplaceable, unrepeatable, exclusively favored, and charming in and of ourselves alone. You could marvel at the uniqueness of one person for a lifetime – perhaps this is what the love of a mother and father feels like.

It is actually one of the four cardinal virtues that requires this - justice.
(Prudence, Justice, Fortitude and Temperance… easily remembered by the acronym PJFT – Praise Jesus For Tacos. You’re welcome).  
JUSTICE – to give someone what they are due. What are we due? Dignity and honor. Why? Because we are made in the image and likeness of God. What?? Inorite… Stay with me…

“Created in the image of the one God and equally endowed with rational souls, all men have the same nature and the same origin. Redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ, all are called to participate in the same divine beatitude: all therefore enjoy an equal dignity.” (Catechism of the Catholic Church - CCC #1934)

The same nature and the same origin = we all came from and are going back to the same place therefore our nature is the same... so we "enjoy an EQUAL DIGNITY".

Hard part: this means everyone. Everyone deserves this justice merely because they are a human person. No one is excluded. All must be loved. Do we welcome each other with this warmth regardless?

A single human person deserves dignity and honor because they are a human person who was born, lives, and will one day die… just like you… born, lives, and dies. It’s so short!  St. Teresa of Avila said, “Remember that you have only one soul; that you have only one death to die; that you have only one life… If you do this, there will be many things about which you care nothing.” PREACH GIRL!  We die – then what? What will we say to explain the people we were? Would you be proud of yourself if you were stripped of your job, friends, status, stuff, looks? If you stood naked, could you say “I never needed the stuff, I was always about the other and the soul?”

I visited a new church last week and I was smacked in the face by this reality of "same nature, same origin, equal dignity". It was the Church of St. John the Baptist run by Capuchin Franciscans with a special devotion to St. Padre Pio. When I walked into the double door entrance, there was a homeless man with his face leaning too close to the door and talking to himself. I went next to him to open the door to enter and he turned toward me, leaning too close to me while still talking to himself. Truthfully, he scared me and I rushed into the church hallway. He stayed outside and I was thankful. 

I entered the church and there were about thirty other people already in the pews waiting for Mass. A few of them were homeless and sleeping on the pews, a few mentally disabled were muttering prayers until they would get stuck on a certain word, a few just stared, a few were physically deformed. The church smelled of ointments and unwashed bodies. As I was looking around, I realized all of them, except for maybe five, were in some way mentally or physically handicapped.

As I sat among them, I was overcome with the sensation that I was finally at a church that Jesus would be proud of. Jesus would have been smiling and welcoming me to His true home, His home of "living waters".  All of these people found refuge in Jesus and the care of the friars. No one was rushing them out, no one was treating them strangely. Many of them had roles in the church service or around the facility. When they began to pray the Rosary, I nearly wept. It was beautiful. I'm sure Mama Mary's heart was moved by the sweetness.

Shame on me.

Shame on me that my first reaction towards them was fear and rushing away.

“What is at stake is the dignity of the human person, whose defense and promotion have been entrusted to us by the Creator, and to whom the men and women at every moment of history are strictly and responsibly in debt.” (CCC #1939)

When I say “I am a people person” there seems to be a glimmer of pride that comes with that. Implying that I like to interact with others, make them laugh, and hear about their lives. Somewhere in there, as innocent as it sounds, it all points back to me. It’s all about me.

I want to be more of a human person person… there seems to be rivers of humility and smallness that comes with that. Implying I am about the other – ensuring that they know they are loved, wanted, and good. Somewhere in there is the core of every human.

No one is excluded. All must be loved – straight, gay, in the womb, out of the womb, healthy, handicapped, young, old, rich, poor, any race, any religion. We are all human persons.
Do we welcome each other with this warmth regardless of these?
Or do we cower from some sort of unknown and rush away?

“Respect for the human person proceeds by way of respect for the principle that everyone should look upon his neighbor (without any exception) as 'another self,' above all bearing in mind his life and the means necessary for living it with dignity." (CCC #1931)

Another self… YOU are ME… the thought of someone rushing away from me in fear makes my heart totally break. How humiliating. HE, leaning too close to the door and talking to himself, was ME. Father, forgive me. Enlarge my heart with mercy and warmth. 

I spent the weekend the with the Sisters of Life and got to experience in the flesh what this "charism of life" looks and feels like. You walk away rejuvenated, restored. These Sisters gaze with the most gentle of eyes into your heart and truly care. They have dedicated their entire lives to get to the essence of how to show this love for each human person. Blessed are these women who are clothed in this mercy and warmth, receiving all as welcomed and wanted.

May we receive all people as our brothers. May we be able to say to anyone “you have a home here”.  And if it backfires? Maybe it will. May we be unafraid to be saints and martyrs for the sake of love.

Rather than bragging about how we engage people as "people persons", let's only brag about how much they feel loved as "human persons".

May we be unafraid to look each other in the eyes, to speak truth, to be a living hope, to bring buckets of "living water" to the thirsty saying I would not let my brother thirst.

May we be unafraid to claim ourselves as a human person person.

Jesus is my tortilla.

Want to see me take an analogy wayyy too far and still make it make sense? Walk with me, oh curious one…

The moment had come. The plastic red basket being carried towards me that any Texan would recognize. The waitress placed the salty chips and spicy, red salsa in front of me on the table and I was ready to pounce. The kill was instantaneous as I dove into the appetizer like an addict resisting no urge.

Salsa. My best friend. This salsa was hot, but oh so delicious. My muscle memory kicked in and without thinking my hand was in continuous motion – chip, salsa, mouth, chip, salsa, mouth… My mom was with me and she asked me a question that required me to stop my gorge in order to respond. It took these mere seconds of a pause to realize that my mouth was on FIRE. In vain, I reached for my water to fish out an ice cube. I let the ice cube cool my tongue, but it quickly melted and the pain returned. Everyone knows ice is never effective. Any good Mexican like myself knows that the only true remedy is a tortilla... but the tortillas wouldn’t come until the meal! Like any committed addict, I dove back into the chips and salsa at an increased speed – chip, salsa, mouth, chip, salsa, mouth. I dramatically blurted out, “AHH! My mouth is on fireee!!” My mother, in all of her wisdom, calmly responded, “Then stop eating the salsa…” I, in all of my stubborn idiocy, shot back, “I can’t! If I stop eating I realize its hurting me!”

Whoa.

I froze and cocked my head to the side in a “That’s So Raven” moment of profound insight. I’m the smartest in the WORLDDD! Did you pick up the insane truth that was revealed through Mexican food?

I was doing this thing that I didn’t want to stop because it tasted good, even when I knew it was hurting me. Everything I tried to soothe it with didn’t help because I didn’t use the one thing that could, in fact, make it better.

WHAT! WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES ALL THE TIME!

Pick your salsa…

Unhealthy relationships that you know will only continue to hurt you.

Drugs or alcohol that are temporary highs and escapes.

Self-deprecation that you justify as bettering yourself but only tears you apart.

Depression that you feed because you have somehow found comfort in it.

Sexual impurity of any kind that fools you into thinking that is authentic intimacy or release.

Any person that you use as your affirmation.

Loneliness that has become your bitter trophy of independence.

The flavors go on and on and vary in spice…

These salsas hurt us. However, we don’t realize they do if we keep eating them. We still think they taste good, which they usually do… but they are burning our tongues. We start to think that the way we feel is the norm – all people hurt like this or this is what "good" is. When we take a second to step back and it hits us that something is not right, we CRAVE healing. This is a natural human response. We desire ourselves to be restored to peace, goodness, and wholeness – whether we think we are worthy of this or not is a topic for a whole different food analogy.

But here’s our main problem: when we seek that healing, which we inevitably all do, we turn to the “ice” that briefly cools it.

It would be like if you wanted to weed your yard by just mowing. Mowing just chops off what you can see, but the roots haven’t been ripped out so the weed will soon grow back full force. We say things like, “Yeah, I know it is bad, but it’s usually good”… we willingly blind ourselves to the problem because we are so busy cooling ourselves with the quickly melting ice of “but this part is good”.

The ice won’t help. And you know it.

You need the tortilla… that comes with the meal.

The tortilla takes away the burn of the salsa because it absorbs the heat. Jesus is our tortilla. Proclaim that from the rooftops – JESUS IS MY TORTILLA! Jesus is the Divine Physician, the ultimate healer. Be not afraid to eat the carbs… AKA quit making dumb excuses to not eat the tortilla. Let down your pride so you can surrender to the overwhelming reality the Jesus can and will fully heal you – from the roots. He can totally ABSORB the hurt from you. In fact, He is the only thing that can.

Better yet, the tortilla comes with the meal… Jesus allows us to literally eat Him in the Eucharist - the Mass is the Heavenly banquet. We get to sit at the table as He feeds us the bread of LIFE (John 6). We completely, intimately consume Him to be in full unity and oneness with our Creator and Savior. WHAT!!!! He absorbs and takes all wounds from us… that’s why He was crucified… so that by His wounds, your wounds could be healed and you could be restored to the Father. Receive this healing by pouring yourself into the Eucharist and surrendering yourself totally to His true, merciful, healing, loving Presence there.

Alas, my brothers and sisters, a dumb analogy made logical.

Salsa – addiction and hurt

Ice – things that won’t help that we want to believe will

Tortilla – Jesus

Meal – Eucharist

Resist the urge to go for another bite of the chip and salsa. Instead, DARE TO BELIEVE in the reality of a personal, loving God who desires your heart to be healed, rebuilt, and totally His.

The meal is always better than the chips and salsa anyways. Duh. That's why you went to the restaurant.

Selah Luce. Joy in Stillness.

I become a total hippie mystic when I am outside. If you raise your eyes and look at the sky sometimes it literally stuns you. Walks are never very productive exercise for me because I spend most of them totally captivated by the sky. The clouds, colors, magnitude… the wind blows and lifts your soul to Heaven for an instant as you allow the God of all Creation to love you. As your bustling falls still, you have now learned how to rest. How to breathe in the delights of Jesus, who speaks secrets and personal intimacies to your heart alone in these moments.  You have dipped your tootsies into the pool of “Stop fighting Jesus and let Him freakin love you”.

This is hard to do. To let the Creator of your soul love you. That’s about as vulnerable, naked, and raw as you can get. To let the God and Man who sees every twisted, manipulative, messed up, disgusting, embarrassing, annoying, shameful thing that you have ever done or thought about truly LOVE you, truly SEE you. Yikes. Think about that… that’s insane. That doesn’t make sense… and honestly it freaks me the hell out. What kind of God, what kind of person who could see behind my facades, calloused heart, and false identities would still show me Divine Mercy? Mercy… a love and compassion that is all encompassing. He has redeemed and freed every part of our souls.

Think about that…

Truly let that sink in…

The word used for “let that sink in” in the Psalms is “selah”. I am a lover of words and in high school this word captivated me. It is used 71 times in the Psalms, yet the meaning is debated and the word itself is mostly just skipped over. But it is beautiful! Even in the elegance of the sound of the word itself… “Selah”… ahh…

Then the meaning?

A few different interpretations…

         -In Hebrew “selah” means “fiat” = let there be… forever (Mary said “her fiat” when she   agreed to be the mother of our Lord = “Be it done to me according to Your word” (Luke 1:38))

        -Cues the person reading the text aloud to pause for reflection

        -Used in praise as being “the highest form of praise man is able to give”

        -Selah means what we know Amen to mean = “It is true”

        -A musical term meaning that there is a pause in the music

So Selah, in my combination translation, means… to be still, pause, and reflect on what deserves praise and say let this goodness be forever.

“My home is by Your altars, Lord of hosts, my King and my God… Selah” (Psalm 84:4).

Selah all over that!

MY HOME IS BY YOUR ALTARS, LORD OF HOSTS!

"Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life” (John 6:68). My home is by Your altars…

Eternal life... the LIGHT of life...
Bl. Chiara Badano was a girl who died at age 18 in Italy in the 90s.  She loved tennis, loved her friends, and loved Jesus. She was nicknamed “Luce” by a good friend because she was her “Light and Joy”.  This friend wrote, “‘Chiara Luce’ (Light) is the name I have chosen for you. Do you like it? The light of God overcomes the world!” Light brings forth life. Think of most plants… they grow upward so their leaves can be exposed to more light so they can live. “In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not overcome it” (John 1:4). One of Chiara’s doctors who treated her bone cancer said, “Since I have met Chiara, something has changed inside me. There is coherence here and I can understand Christianity.” Does the light in our souls bring forth life like that? Where something would change inside a person after being in my presence that they would know goodness and Christ and find the FULLNESS OF LIFE, the LIGHT OF LIFE. That my presence would exude Jesus' presence.

Bl. Chiara "Luce" Badano (below: Her joy while she was in the hospital 

for her bone cancer.)

 

My prayer is that we would not be afraid to step back from the chaos and enter into this “Selah Luce”.

Selah Luce… To be still and reflect on the light of life so that it can be praised.

Where is the light? Take a second to recount your day… where was there light and something deserving praise?

How do you concretely trust in God = you praise Him and thank Him.

Why? Praise and thanks recalls the good things the Lord has done so you remember how constant, faithful, and good He is. To “offer up a sacrifice of praise to God” (Hebrews 13:15). 

A SACRIFICE of praise… implying that sometimes praise is extremely hard to do.

Praise is the secret to giving light… which brings forth life... which is only actualized in Jesus Christ.

Spend your life in Selah Luce.

Joy in stillness.

While the Father holds us, let us not squirm out of His arms. Instead, let us know ourselves as His beloved daughters and sons… so that when the Father holds us, we might be still, pause, and reflect on what deserves praise and say let this goodness be forever.

“Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still.  Selah.” (Psalm 4:4)

In my joyful stillness, my Selah Luce, these people are some of whom I am praising and thanking the Father for allowing me the honor of knowing. They make me want to be holier... Blessed be the hands that bring me to the Eucharist and and the souls that teach me how to go deeper into the heart of Jesus.

 Be His.

In His Most Sweet and Sacred Heart,

Stephanie